17/04/2019 The day we attend the fertility clinic for the second time (Wednesday)

17/04/2019 The day we attend the fertility clinic for the second time (Wednesday)

We arrive at the clinic for 9.23 am again, our appointment is scheduled for 9.30 am.

It is a lovely day. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky.

We make our way into the fertility clinic and are greeted once again by Matthew, our coordinator. He asks what we have been up to and we tell him about all the food we've eaten over the last couple of days, the shopping and chilling at the hotel 😁☺😋

Matthew explains that the doctor is on her way and that we should go ahead and provide our next sperm sample. This time we also need to leave a urine sample too. He tells us that by the time we have produced the samples the doctor will be ready to see us and do the consultation.

We make our way back to the sample room. This time the urine sample pot is pre-printed with our names and dates of birth. We still need to write the information of the other sample pot. Why the urine sample pot is smaller than the sperm sample pot I’ll never know or understand… unless they also help Elephants become parents and require samples from them too, HAHA! I didn’t realise that we would need to provide urine samples too and so didn’t hold my water this morning (D’oh!) – I ask Matthew for a bottle of water. I drink the bottle of water as quickly as possible and turn on the cold tap in the sample room too for good measure (always easier to pee when you can hear running water… why is that!?!). I do the business, in both respects, and exit the room so that Leo can do the same.

Not long after Leo re-emerges from the sample room and we proceed to the lab to deposit our samples. We pass back over the sticky white mat (designed to capture dirt and bacteria from your shoes) and take a seat back in the waiting room. Matthew collects us a minute or so later and escorts us through into the doctor’s office.

We walk into the doctor’s office and are introduced to Dr Ann, who is a lady in her mid-70’s. I already knew what to expect as I had done a bit of research on her before we travelled to the United States. Doctor Ann is a specialist in the field of reproductive medicine and used to be an Associate Professor at Harvard University in Cambridge MA.

We take a seat and introduce ourselves to Dr Ann and she in turn introduces herself. She apologises for not having been available on Monday but says that this has meant that she has had an opportunity to look at the first sperm samples that we provided. She hands us each a report that lists lots of statistics and values which relate to the samples that we provided on Monday morning. Dr Ann tells us that everything looks good with the samples and that we both have good sperm counts and that mobility is good too – this should mean that, subject to no other medical issues, we shouldn’t have any problem when it comes to making embryos using our sperm and the Egg Donors eggs. I’m relieved at this news as I’d never had a fertility test (Leo had already at Care Fertility Sheffield) and so didn’t have a clue whether my little swimmers were good or not.

The doctor asks us to give her some background as to how we have come to use the clinics services and what our plan is for the rest of the surrogacy process. We explain that we have signed an agreement with Babybloom in Israel, who will project manage the whole surrogacy process for us from start to Birth (finish).

Babybloom was founded by a chap called Guy Tatsa. Guy and his husband have three children who are all a result of International Surrogacy in the US. Guy’s eldest daughter is now a teenager and it was after the birth of their first baby that Guy founded Babybloom. Guy had dealt with the process first-hand and witnessed how difficult and complex it was. He wanted to set up a business to help people in the same situation become parents in the same way that he and his husband had. I explained that in addition to having regular skype calls with Guy, we also have a co-ordinator called Liron.

Liron and his husband also live in Israel and too have children as a result of international surrogacy in the US.

We explain that we have already shortlisted 7 – 8 potential egg donors. Dr Ann asks us which clinic’s egg donor databases we have had access too. I check my email and read out each of the clinic’s names. Dr Ann questioned why all the potential egg donor clinics were situated on the west coast of America and why there weren’t any nearby on the East coast. I said that I would make a note and ask Liron to confirm. Dr Ann also asks whether Babybloom had mentioned frozen egg banks. I make a note to ask Liron whether this might be another option that we can look at.

Apparently, frozen egg banks aren’t any cheaper than using the services of a live egg donor. However, they can be more readily available as you don’t need to book in an egg harvest and wait for the donors’ cycle, etc. The process of freezing eggs (Egg vitrification) hasn’t always been accepted. It became accepted about 15 years ago when scientists and doctors who had perfected the vitrification process used for embryos was adapted to be viable for freezing eggs (eggs tend to be more fragile than embryos).

Dr Ann takes us through the whole process from start to finish and explains that when we have found our surrogate mother, she will do a consultation with her to ensure that everything has been explained and the surrogate is fully aware of the process and what is expected.

Dr Ann gives us three forms each to complete. One explains what we would like to happen should one or both of us die (or as she puts it, “if your plane goes down on the way home”). The other two are for our UK doctor to complete and sign – a full medical examination and an authority to allow the sem4 283 results to be released to us (to comply with Massachusetts state laws).

We thank Dr Ann for the consultation. Matthew comes back into the room to escort us back to the laboratory so that we can each provide blood samples.

We meet a guy called Alex in the lab (he reminds me of Ross from friends), he takes blood from both of us and explains that the samples provided today will be sent to the lab for the Sema4 283 tests to take place.

Sema4 283 is one of the most comprehensive carrier screens available. It screens for inherited disorders associated with 283 genes. For example, cystic fibrosis, Parkinson’s disease, etc.

That’s it, samples provided. We thank Matthew and the team for everything. Matthew explains that the sema4 283 test results are usually back within 14 days, so it is important that we make arrangements to see our UK doctor as soon as possible when back in the UK so that this doesn’t hold up the process.

Matthew says goodbye and reminds us that the last visit is scheduled for Friday morning – final sample day 😊

To be continued… xx

AJ Pritchard - Strictly

15/04/2019 The day we attend the fertility clinic for the first time (Monday)

We arrive at the clinic for 9.23 am, our appointment is scheduled for 9.30 am. Thankfully it isn’t the last minute rush that we had when travelling down to Heathrow Airport to catch the flight – phew!

We head inside the clinic which is situated in a quiet leafy suburb just outside Boston MA. We head upstairs and are greeted by Matthew, the clinic coordinator, who I’ve been corresponding with via email for the last couple of months.

Matthew explains that the order of events will follow a slightly different route on this occasion. Usually the first consultation involves a meeting with the Doctor. However, due to a scheduling conflict we will be providing our first sperm sample today and the usual consultation will take place on Wednesday morning. I had already confirmed that this was fine a couple of weeks ago and so this wasn’t a shock.

Matthew takes us through to a laboratory, as we walk into the lab our shoes stick to the sticky white floor mat and we create foot prints on the white mat – Matthew explains that the mat is sticky on purpose in order to catch dirt and bacteria from the soles of our shoes. Matthew explains that once we have produced our sperm samples we should write our name and date of birth on the sample cups, secure the screw cap, and place the sample cup on the Perspex and steel unit in the lab. The lab unit has integral extractors sucking air out of the unit which you can feel as you put your hand inside.

We walk back out of the lab and are shown into the sample room which is pretty much a bathroom with a small waiting area adjoined, separated by a lockable wooden door. The waiting area has one fixed seat and another wooden door with a lock separating it from the reception area.

I go first, as I walk into the bathroom/sample room I notice the sample cups on the window ledge. They are sealed with a paper sticker and covered in a clear plastic bag. I unpack one sample cup but notice that the label on the cup mentions that it is only sterile until the lid is removed and so I leave the lid attached and will open this up later when feel the urge LOL. I write my name and date of birth on the sample cup.

I take a look around the small room and notice about twelve editions of Gay Times and some other moderate adult magazines. The latest edition of Gay Times has none other than AJ Pritchard on the front cover. Who doesn’t love a bit of AJ Pritchard from Strictly Come Dancing ;-). I’d do the pasodoble with him any day, haha. There is a bowl with packets of lube on the bathroom cabinet, should you wish to lubricate. There is also a toilet, sink, hand wipes, soap dispenser, etc. in the room.

I crack on and produce my sample – you really don’t need anymore details than that HAHAHA! I open the door and let Leo go next. I check to make sure that he has sufficient material to help him produce PMSL! He does – this lad came prepared... ;-p

A little time passes whilst Leo is doing the deed, I take the opportunity to check my work emails and social media accounts. A short time goes by, then the door opens and that’s it – job done :0)

We leave the small waiting room and walk back into the lab via the reception area. We place our samples on the lab steel and Perspex unit and walk back out to reception, stepping back onto the sticky white floor mat.

Matthew tells us that this is all that is required today and that we will have our consultation with the doctor on Wednesday morning. The consultation on Wednesday will take roughly one and a half hours and we will provide further sperm samples, together with blood and urine samples.

We thanked Matthew for everything, shook his hand – which felt weird, despite having both washed our hands, given that we had both just jerked off 5 – 10 minutes beforehand. If I was Matthew I’d constantly be washing my hands or avoiding handshakes with guys that have just jerked themselves off, LOL.

Leo and I leave the fertility clinic and head to the Burlington Mall for shopping and lunch.

To be continued... xx

How sperm is produced and delivered courtesy of our fertility consultant

First Blog Post – Setting the scene – Eventful journey to Heathrow Airport

12/04/2019 The day we travel to the United States of America for the first time.

The day started like any other, 6.40 am alarm, up and into the bathroom to start my daily work/beauty routine (haha, yeah right!). 15 minutes later and out of the shower to get ready for work – fortunately it is Friday, which means dress down day – Woohoo, no more stuffy suit, shirt, shoes and tie... until I return from Boston anyway . Let the dog out, feed him and a quick cuppa whilst watching the morning news on the BBC.

Off to work to tidy up the last few things that really can’t wait until I return on 24th April.

I got a chance to say my farewells to friends and colleague’s and managed to get out of the door by 12.10 pm (pretty good for me really as always find it difficult to leave and switch off from work).

I arrive home and finish packing the last of my things, toiletries, etc. Luckily Leo is all packed, Jet (our furry baby – Jack Russell Terrier) has been showered and is smelling sweet again, after rolling around the garden last weekend after I have mowed the lawn.

Throw all the bags in the car, say goodbye to our lovely neighbours, and we’re off. Driving down the M1 motorway and all is good with the world.

One and a half hours later and we arrive in Cannock to drop Jet off at Granddads’ bungalow. Jet will get absolutely spoilt as always and his little tail starts wagging as my dad opens the door to greet us.

We set off from Dads about 30 minutes later (about 4.04 pm), by which time the rush hour traffic has well and truly kicked in (Arrgghhh!). The satnav says that we’ll arrive by 18.52 (check-in closes at 19.15) and we’ve still got over 121 miles to travel... panic sets in – cue me turning into someone that resembles a person who suffers from turrets after taking speed or some other type of amphetamine/illegal substance PMSL! I like to think that I’ve got a really long fuse usually and don’t tend to lose my temper easily....until I’m late or I’m hungover and then I’m the most impatient person in the world, EVER! Plus, I really know how to wind my self up better than anyone else    .

This is where things start to resemble a race scene from the Fast and the Furious, except that I’m not Vin Diesel and definitely no Paul Walker. I start to push down harder and harder (I bet you didn’t think that this was going to turn in to this type of adult literature haha) on the accelerator, 70, 80, 90, 95mph... I daren’t drive any faster in case I get caught by police or a speed camera – I don’t fancy a day in court thank you . Slowly but surely the estimated time of arrival starts to drop by one minute every 4 – 5 minutes or so.... the crazy driving continues for some time until I manage to get the ETA down to 18.31.... then all of a sudden it jumps back to 18.34 (D’oh). This would appear to be due to the fact that we were about to join the biggest motorway car park in the UK, otherwise known as the M25.
We hit stop, start traffic but eventually get to our exit and, finally, this is the home stretch that will take us to Purple Parking (ooooeeerrr, suits you ;-) )

The Purple Parking staff were amazing and held the shuttle bus up until we were ready to depart on our way to Heathrow Terminal 5. By this point Leo and I are feeling like we will manage to get to check in before it closes in another 25 minutes.

The Shuttle bus arrives at Terminal 5 and we run like fat kids that have just heard the dinner bell at school towards the departure screens. Shouts of “excuse me!” as we hurriedly push past people. Wrong level! Need to find a lift to level 3 ARRGGHHHHH!

We arrive in departures and are thankfully greeted by a lovely British Airways lady that finds us a colleague to check in Leo (I’d already checked in online but couldn’t check in Leo because he travels on his Peoples Republic of China passport). Finally, we can relax (phew) – we made it a whole 15 minutes before the flight closes, or so I thought......NO! It transpires that in addition to the long and drawn out rigmarole of applying for Leo’s US visa we should also have applied for eVUS (Electronic Visa Update Service) which asks for all the same information that the Visa application asked for. The problem is that this can take up to 72 hours to be processed and enrolled. By this point I’m trying my best not to burst into tears and give it all up as a bad job...but NO! I whip out my mobile and start completing the seven page eVUS application, answering all the questions that we had already answered during the Visa application. My fingers had never moved so fast on that swipe keypad ;-)

A few validation page errors later and finally we can submit. At this point we have been told that the eVUS decision can sometimes be instant but in other circumstances can take up to 72 hours – The flight closes in 6 minutes AARRGHGHHHGH!

The initial decision comes back as pending... OMG! Now I start to envision sleeping on a Heathrow airport row of seating or on the hard cold marbled floor. What about the car rental that is booked for when we land!?!?, what about everything!  I persevere and try checking the status again on the slowest website the American authorities must be able to achieve. The verdict...... Enrolled status – what the hell does that mean!?? Apparently,  it means that it is granted – quickly rush back over to the lovely guy that tried to get us on the flight earlier. By this time he has been swamped by about 4 other customers. Fortunately he looks up and I give him the news that the eVUS has been enrolled. He very quickly bumps us to the front of the queue (by this time I’m thanking him with all my heart and want to give his the biggest hug ever). He swipes Leo’s passport, hits a few keys and gets on the phone to the gate staff who have just closed the flight to plead our case.... I hear him saying “I really appreciate that, thanks ever so much”. He managed to talk the gate staff around to allowing us on the flight – YEEESSSSSS! I love this guy so much at this point. He abandons his work station to help us check the baggage in and points us in the direction of Security North, “Run and I’ll let them know that you need to progress through security ASAP”, he says.

Thank you Mr British Airways staff!!!

We run like maniacs towards Security North, smoke coming off of the wheelie cases (okay, slight exaggeration...). Through security – no issues. We collect our belongings and start running towards gate B39 which is down a couple of sets of escalators. Leo sprints ahead and I follow looking very clammy and red-faced. I hit the lower floor, check my pockets and realise that I didn’t collect my card wallet from the security tray. This has my bank cards, money and driving licence in – OMG!!!, Arrrggghhhh!!! I throw my bag and coat down to the floor and crazily start emptying the contents of it out all over the floor looking for the damn card wallet – it is nowhere to be found. Panic once again sets in! I quickly put the contents of the man bag back, turn and run back up the escalators towards the security desks. I ask two security staff whether a card wallet has been handed in.... the second lady asks my name and thankfully some beautiful human being had handed it in. I don’t  know who you are, but thank you so much!
Quickly I run back down the escalator, shouting “excuse me, sorry” as I push past people. At this point I’m a complete unfit, red faced mess – I hope that I gave a few people a good laugh as that fat guys jogged past in a trance.

I make it to the internal rail station that I need to take to get to the ‘B’ departure gates – no Leo in sight AAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

I call Leo and he is at the next train station, I tell him to wait for me as he has both of our passports. He tells me that I’m heading for gate B39. The train stops at station ‘B’ and I start to run/dad jog towards gate B39 – after running up two extremely long escalators I see Leo looking all fresh faced as if he had just had a walk in the park (I’m sweating like a pig at a hog roast).

We get to gate B39 and to our amazement we aren’t the last to enter the gate. The announcement comes over the speakers “would passengers Li, blah, blah, blah please make themselves known to a member of staff). We handover our passports and boarding passes to the gate staff and are escorted downstairs for further security checks (dodgy Chinese LOL).

Further security checks complete and we can board the plane – finally, we can relax and I can start to look forward to ordering the biggest glass of wine possible.

We board the plane, find our seats and take the biggest sigh of relief possible.

We are finally on our journey to fatherhood (fingers crossed).

I hope that you have enjoyed laughing at the trials and tribulations so far. Please feel free to subscribe or keep checking back for the next instalment very soon.

Much love, Matt & Leo xxxx

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